Blog Short Story Project III: DUMPED
power / on
menu / address book
scroll / Mike
write new / text
u up?
nope
4 real?
duh
how r u?
fukt
n e news?
nope
she ok?
wot u think?
sorry
menu / address book
scroll / Jenny
write new / text
u up?
yeah cant sleep
news?
she'll make it
gr8!!!
cant walk tho
shit. sorry.
not ur fault
yeah
menu / address book
scroll / Leanne
write new / text
u hear?
yup. mike tol me.
well?
well what?
when do we ... u know?
not yet
wtf?
u didnt do her
i did!!!
she can dob
she can't walk
she can still blog
fuk u
no pussy 4u!
menu / address book
scroll / Jenny
scroll / Mike
scroll / Jenny
somethin 2 tell u
what?
i know who did it
what?! who?
not sure i should tell
who?!!
leanne
no way
yes
how?
her dad's car
call the cops!
can u? bcause...
ok
scroll / Leanne
it's over
fuk u
power / off
17 comments:
Man, that's intense. Like it. Love the rhythm.
Brilliant take, Daniel.
That was cool, Daniel.
Really clever one, Daniel. Good use of the theme.
That was great.
fabulous!
It's a poem.
Full story, few words. Wonderful.
thank you.
That's excellent. Really good take on the idea.
What Pari said. It's a poem in the language of the machine.
Techno language crime fiction. Gotta love it.
Thanks very much, all. I've had this in an earlier form for a month now, but it wasn't until The Project came along that I found a way to finish it.
Glad you all enjoyed it.
Very cool. And I'm too damned old ever to have written it.
That worked really well. Loved it.
Dammit, freaking Blogger ate the comment I left on Monday. :( Daniel, what I liked most about this story/poem is that even though I am a Luddite without a cell phone, you gave the conversation enough context that I could figure out what was going on. Nicely done!
I missed a story by John Stickney posted Monday, and Jim Winter posted a late entry last night. I've added both links to the list of project contributors on my blog.
Excellent job, very clever.
And thanks to all of you, too.
Gerald, I've added the stragglers above.
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