Thursday, May 25, 2006

Crime Writing Workshop: Day 2

To avoid confusion, read Day One first.

Not being much of a morning person, it was hard to fight back the groans when we were given our first exercise of Day Two. It involved thinking. And walking. And the outdoors.

The exercise was called Five Hundred Steps. The idea was to pick a starting point at the park across the road, walk one hundred steps and wherever we landed, write. Without intention or plan, just write in the voice of our chosen character.

Even though I had come up with a basic plot for a story the day before, I wasn't entirely sure who the protagonist should be, but the exercise tipped the scales: I chose the most difficult character.

A woman.

A rich, lonely woman who is worried that her husband is cheating on her.

Before you slap me for insulting the female race, let me explain.

Being a writer, I understand loneliness, but when it comes to the bell curve of women and finances, think of me as the kid that slid down the wrong end. Still, I pushed on, with the help of sunglasses and caffeine mixed with artificial sweeteners. In powder form.

After we'd settled into some discussion on our characters and how the exercise had helped our writerly muscles flex, a strange thing happened.

People started disappearing.

After the first day, one of the younger students and I hit a local pub for a few beers. Perfectly normal activity in Newtown. But since I was forking out hard earned cash for the course, I bade farewell after my second drink and headed home for dinner. The other guy stayed on. And on, arriving home at about 1am. So it made perfect sense that he was a little quiet and prone to staring off into the distance.

But some time before lunch, he left the room in a rush, during the middle of an interesting talk on the spiral structure of mysteries. From the look of him, I figured he was off to pray at the Great White Altar, but by the time lunch arrived, we discovered that he had disappeared.

And he wasn't the last.

The rest of the day wore on, with topics of interest including: pacing, transitions, the burying of clues, and editing and rewriting. Once afternoon tea was over, one of the older ladies left a few hours early. At least she mentioned it to someone.

Another one, gone.

We threw around theories of poison in the cake, a deadly visitor to the toilets, or pale-faced nurses in PVC uniforms and dark makeup brandishing shiny, spiked instruments. Stabbing, again and again, relentlessly, until ... okay, I made the last one up. Just for Mr. MacBride.

Fifteen minutes before the end of the day, another woman made apologies and left. Something to do with picking up children. Sure, we believe you. We know there's no evil conspiracy behind the staff at the Nursing Campus. It's normal for people to drop off throughout the day on a Sunday.

And thus it endeth here.

Stay tuned tomorrow for further reflections on the more illuminating moments of the workshop.

If I live to tell the tale.

(cue evil laughter, let it fade into a mess of echoes, add a huge explosion, then a little voice saying 'ouch')

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Crime Writing Workshop: Day 1

Thirteen would-be writers, including me, showed up to Sydney University's Nursing Campus building on a gloomy Saturday morning to spend the next two days learning the ins and outs of crime fiction writing. The course was presented by Marele Day, author of the Claudia Valentine PI series.

We went around the room and did the obligatory introductions, detailing our writing experience and reasons for being there, the types of crime we were most interested in, and our favourite sexual positions.

Marele gave some background, talking about her Claudia Valentine series, which includes her Shamus award-winning THE LAST TANGO OF DELORES DELGADO, and then her shift into more literary work such as LAMBS OF GOD and MRS COOK.

The first day we covered the topics of research, characters, voice and viewpoint. As a general focus for the group, Marele stuck a few headlines and images from the weekend newspaper up on the whiteboard. Throughout the weekend, we would all refer to a short story or novel idea that was inspired by these images.

We then went on to hear everyone's wishlist attributes of their most wanted crime novel. Mine weren't quite as ambitious as the others, so it was good to note them all down. Some of the more interesting ones were: a protagonist that doesn't give up, an unreliable narrator, and a good balance of light and shade.

Aside from the exercises set around building our newspaper-inspired stories, we had to make up a character name off the top of our heads, write it down on a blank piece of paper, and pass it to the left. The recipient's job was to flesh out the clothing and appearance of the character, their hopes and dreams, and their biggest fears in life.

Emmaline was the name given to me, and I turned her into a typical Newtown gal, replete with flowing skirt, corset and Doc Martens boots, all in black of course. The guy next to me was stuck with my own creation: Biff Johnson.

Although I've come across many of the concepts in my personal studies on writing (all the bloody books I've read on the subject), it was something else to have an author right in front of me that's done what I'm trying to do. And she's been extremely successful at it to boot.

I'm still absorbing all the information, so stay tuned for another post on Day 2: The Day We Went Outside.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Real PI Work

I'd organised to meet a woman at the David Jones department store in the city. The time was set for 11:30am and the place was the piano near the Elizabeth Street entrance.

As I walked up to Erskineville station, my phone rang. A change of plan: she was early, said she was looking for a ballet DVD and she'd already canvassed HMV with no luck. She was heading to the Strand Arcade with the hope of tracking down an ABC shop. I told her I'd call when I got in.

Pacing up and down the station, I waited for the train. When it finally let me off at St. James, I raced up the stairs, threw my ticket into the electronic turnstile, and pulled out my phone.

Number disconnected. I tried again. Same thing.

Alright, I thought, all I have to do is track her down. I walked over to Pitt Street Mall, trying the number every few steps. Disconnected? It didn't make sense. I reached the mall and stood in the centre, scanning the crowd for her familiar features. Nothing.

If I was right, there was no ABC shop in the Strand Arcade, so she would have realised her mistake, then headed back towards my end of the mall. There were only two places nearby that were likely to sell ballet DVDs, but only one had bad reception for phones.

Feeling a little more than cocky, I walked over to Borders, scanned the crowd on the ground floor. Checked out the crime section, a habit of mine. Movies were downstairs, with two exits: the stairs and the lift. If she took the lift and I went down the stairs, I'd lose her--if she was there at all. The lift was hidden in a back corner, so I took my chances with the stairs.

My sneakers squeaked as I took the stairs two at a time, holding on to the handrail so I wouldn't slip. Before I reached the bottom, I looked up and saw her.

I said, "Hi mum."

"Daniel, how did you find me?"

I smiled. "A little PI work, that's all."

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing

Even though I'm only reading about a chapter a night, Judith Rapoport's THE BOY WHO COULDN'T STOP WASHING has me enthralled.

It's written by an M.D. with plenty of experience in the field of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders, so even though it's about fifteen years old, the science is solid.

Habits are survival traits. If we didn't wash our hands after going to the toilet, we'd end up back in the days of the plague. But when a habit takes over, it can destroy lives. Where is the line between someone with a sense of order and someone who is controlled by their compulsions?

I used to have my own little rituals back in the days of primary school. Whenever I walked past a doorway, if my right hand brushed the side, I would have to go back and brush the other side with my left hand. After a while, this wasn't enough. Because one hand touched the doorframe first, that seemed uneven as well. My way of compensating was to touch the doorframe with my left hand, then my right. Then left, right, right, left. It's easy to extend this pattern exponentially, out to infinity.

But that still didn't solve it. I could never go back in time and touch both hands on the doorframe simultaneously.

Writing this now, twenty years on, it sounds strange. But I can truthfully say that I never felt a strong compulsion to do it. If I was bored or distracted by something else, I just wouldn't. And after a few months, I forgot all about it.

The people in Judith Rapoport's book have no such luxury.

There are boys who need to wash their hands or pass through doorways or make 'stringing' motions with their fingers for hours on end. A father never gets to work because he keeps driving back down the road to check if he ran someone over. A little girl can't make it to school because no matter how she dresses herself, it feels wrong, and she has to take all her clothes off and start again each time.

As a writer, I feel the need for obsession in my work. I obsess over repetition, redundancy, making sure each paragraph starts off differently, avoiding useless adverbs, keeping my who's, whose, it's and its all in the right spot, the list goes on.

I feel painfully sorry for those that suffer from OCDs. They have done nothing to bring it upon themselves. With the introduction of better drugs and behavioural therapy, they had a chance at improving the quality of their lives fifteen years ago, even more so today, but not all of them.

I'm not sure exactly what drove me to write this post, and I'm not sure what my conclusion or resolution is. All I know is that the subject fascinates me as a writer, a programmer, and as a person.

Even now, I'm obsessing over how to end this post. Why did I write it in the first place?

I guess I just had to.

For further reading, visit OCD Online.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Power Of The Beard

See, there's this guy what I know cause I found out about him on the in-nerd-net. He's beardy, but unlike Stephen King, he's not a writer, he's a write-ist.

That's right. I'm talking about the one and only Stuart MacBride, author of Cold Granite and now Dying Light. He's a brilliant crime writer, sorry, write-ist, but absolutely terrible as a weatherman.

Why is this you say?

Well, he accused me of being a freak driven out from under a rock by the heat of summer. Maybe in your part of the world, Jack, but down under, it's winter. Even though scantily clad girls in bikinis are telling the rest of the world to get the bloody hell down here, the cold granite reality is that our nipples are rock solid from the cold, just begging to have things hung from them.

Did I type that or just think it?

Ahem.

This is what I get for madly sending him my photo.

Oh well, anything for a bit of linkage.

Cheers, Stuart.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me



Today I turned thirty-three, a number I will always remember as spoken by Paul Dobrowolski, a Czech boy in high school, because he pronounced it more like 'tharrrtee thraaaayyy'. It's a little strange to think that a number that seemed so far away at fifteen is now used to measure my age.

My day was made especially lovely by Mary, who took the day off and decorated the house with streamers. When I finally woke up, she greeted me with pancakes and strawberries. Thankfully not by throwing them at me.

But that's not all.

She gave me the Ultimate Coolest Pen in the world, at least, in my world, the Tornado Disco Fever Groove Writer. My plan is to use it to sign my first publishing contract. But that's a birthday wish, so don't tell anyone.

Can you tell I feel like a kid again?

A lazy day followed by a family dinner at my favourite restaurant was capped off by staying up late for a couple of selfish hours of computer game playing. I'm such a geek.

Will the love ever stop around here? Tune in tomorrow as I return to my normal schedule of writing about procrastinating instead of writing.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Everyone Uses iTunes

I've seen this meme floating around and finally decided to take it on in a desperate attempt to write the quintessential Friday blog post.

The idea is to use the shuffle feature in iTunes or any similar program to pick random songs from your music collection as answers to all-important questions.

Here's what I came up with. Some of them are quite revealing, even though this is all bullshit anyway.

* * *

How does the world see me?
In Love Dub - King Tubby

Will I have a happy life?
What Is And What Should Never Be - Jimmy Page And The Black Crowes

What do my friends really think of me?
How Many More Years - Freddie King

Do people secretly lust after me?
Loose Tongue - Neil Finn

How can I make myself happy?
Ookey Oook - The Penguins

What should I do with my life?
I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead - Weird Al Yankovic

Will I ever have children?
Settle For Nothing - Rage Against The Machine

What is some good advice for me?
Black Man Blues - John Lee Hooker with the Groundhogs

How will I be remembered?
Help These Blues - Blues Explosion

What is my signature dancing song?
I Want To Take You Higher - Sly & The Family Stone

What do I think my current theme song is?
Lullaby - Lamb

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Catcher - Komeda

What song will play at my funeral?
Endlessly - Muse

What type of woman do I like?
I Got What I Wanted - Ted Hawkins

What is my day going to be like?
Little and Low - Homesick James

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Four Years On

And still going.

I won't say anything gushy like, "I love you, Mary," because that will embarrass you. What I will do instead is to say that saying, "I love you," will embarrass you. Which is sure to embarrass you.

I'll shut up now.



Mary & Daniel, a blurry party somewhere, 2005

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Why Is Google Trying To Stop Me?



From Thesaurus.com:

Main Entry: stop

Synonyms: bar, barricade, blank wall, block, blockade, break, break off, brick wall, cease, cessation, check, close, closing, conclusion, control, cutoff, desistance, discontinuation, ending, fence, finish, freeze, grinding halt, halt, hindrance, impediment, layoff, letup, lull, pause, plug, roadblock, screeching halt, standstill, stay, stoppage, termination, wall

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Workspace, Part II

A while back, Lee Goldberg ran a hugely successful post on the topic of a writer's workspace. There was a huge variety of photographic responses, one of which included mine.

This time I'm coming at the workspace issue from a different angle.

Now that I have plenty of time on my hands for writing, and a laptop that's willing to travel, I find that my workspace is constantly changing. When I worked in an office, carting my laptop around for lunchtime sessions, then writing again in my study at night, it was easy to keep inspiration flowing. I never felt claustrophobic or trapped in the same place, because that place was always on the move.

But now I don't like writing in my study.

It seems more difficult to get started each day, probably because I'm spending more time at home, in the same environment, and I'm going a little stir crazy. I try to give myself missions to perform during the day, such as Go To Shop And Buy A Coke, or Walk Around The Block To Avoid Deep-Vein Thrombosis.

Today I tried, Take The Laptop To The Library.

I woke up groggy this morning and it took hours to get myself into action, but when I did, I thought, hey, I really should return those massively overdue library books. So I had a shower (remember, only when absolutely necessary), filled up the backpack, and sauntered through the streets of Newtown.

When I arrived at the library, I shoved my books into the chute that says, "Please Return ALL Books Through Chute", found a desk, pulled out my lappie and settled into work mode.

I spent the next couple of hours painfully snipping away redundant characters and subplots, bringing down the total length of my novel to around 50K, down from 65K. This will allow me to concentrate on the characters left behind, add some more relevant internal reflection, and work with an overall cleaner plot.

At some point, I felt compelled to finish my work as quickly as possible, but wasn't sure why until I let my mind wander from the story.

Libraries are supposed to be quiet places, sanctuaries for study.

So why would you bring a baby to one?

The jarring sounds of that baby's manic and endless crying reverberated through my skull, combining with the caffeine and artificial sweeteners in my Coke Zero. The final effect was too much. I packed up my gear and skedaddled.

Grumble, grumble. I'll stick to my kitchen next time.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Sunday Is Here

What a week it's been.

What a struggle to produce a measly 5500 words, the total count from my second Debut Dagger entry and my first article for Crimespree. If all goes well, there will be many more for the latter and no more for the former.

But the path of any writer is a weaving one, and I'll cross each bridge as I come to it.

Then I'll look up at the mountain, thinking of how to scale its peak. When I reach the top, in sub-zero temperatures and low air pressure, I will assemble my self-designed spacecraft and tour the solar system.

After finding the universe too small, I'll split into an infinite number of personalities and distribute them throughout the multiverse.

And then it shall be Sunday, and I shall rest once more.

Fuck.

I still have to finish this novel.

But I'm looking forward to it. I am so in love with not going to the office every morning. I wake up at a godly hour, shower only when necessary, and write my ass off while my stomach gets bigger. I write, I break, I write again. Bob Dylan said happiness is when a man wakes up in the morning, spends the day doing what he loves, then goes to sleep at night.

I am happy. For now.

Cue evil laughter. Increase volume of echoes. Fade into reverb-laden mush.

Oh yes, I forgot to thank Christa Miller, Stephen Blackmoore, Steven Torres, John Stickney and Sandra Ruttan for all of their invaluable help during my panicky week of deadlines.

In parting, I now share with you the majesty, the power, the extravagance of ...



... the place I ate laksa at today.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Must. Blog. More.

Been ploughing through a couple of writing deadlines, but hopefully the dust will settle on Sunday and I can return with a mildly extravagant post on the nature of toenails and the microscopic civilised worlds underneath them.

Until then, I give you:

BEER-AMISU

Thursday, April 20, 2006

My Life As A Writer: Day 3

The first day was a write-off. The second, far better. I actually got some writing done and didn't play a lot of Xbox.

Now into the third day, I'm making breakthroughs. In total I've only written about five hundred words in the last two days, but the important thing is that those words were the ones I wanted.

I've really been struggling with my Debut Dagger entry for the past few weeks, probably a side-affect of the changes going on in my life. But a lot of those problems were from not knowing my characters well enough, so over those weeks I wrote some more useful notes on the most important characters. Now I have a clearer idea of how they will respond in any given situation.

So even though I didn't get down a lot of words, those words are important and useful, and shall make the production of further words less of a chore.

Today was also a day of errands, or more to the point, errand. I went on a journey into the bowels of Erskineville Oval to get to the fabled Locksmith Near The Pub. Confronted with a wall of blank keys but not a person in sight, I was tempted to jump the counter and copy the front door key myself.

Before I made my move, a young man in a dark blue apron came out, wiping his mouth and chewing. That was when I realised what time it was: lunchtime. Now that I'm living a nomadic existence in the streams of time, I am no longer acquainted with the customs of the average human. Watches, mobile phones, televisions, these things mean nothing to me.

But the internet, my laptop, and (cough) my Xbox, these are now my world. And I hear them calling to me now, almost like pipes might call to someone called Danny Boy.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

When Will It Stop?

Today I learned the value of going to work. Somewhat like fasting to appreciate food, or travelling to appreciate home, I am now appreciating the benefits of a workplace. Sure, I have to get up early and I have to put up with flaky air-conditioning and co-workers, but at least my brain isn't drilled into.

Let me explain.

Thinking that I'd be able to sleep in today, I stayed up till about 1am last night, playing on the good old Xbox. My partner in crime gets up at around 6am, so that means I temporarily wake up at the same time.

This is fine by me. I can handle it. What I can't handle is heavy knocking on the door about two hours later.

I'm not sure what happened. Someone banged on the door and woke me up, but before I got out of bed, they'd already closed the front gate. Across the road, I could see the perpetrator knocking on someone else's door. Unlike me, they answered, so I stuck my ear against the window and tried to listen in. From what I could tell, the door knocker was a gardening disposal person and was offering some kind of tree trunk destruction. I thought about it. Should I open the door, rush across the road and say, count me in?

No. I don't have any tree trunks.

I checked all around the house. Under the sink, in the fridge, under the bed. Nope. No tree trunks. No large pieces of wood. I knocked on my skull, just to see if that was made of wood. Maybe I could get them to shove my head into their Truck Of Mass Destruction. I mean, they're already figuratively destroying it. Why not go the whole hog and murder me in a bloody bath of gardening?

And it's still going. They've been mulching or shredding or whatever it is they do for the last three hours, non-stop. Add the usual Tuesday morning garbage pickup into the mix and my head is seriously sore.

Everything's quiet now. I think it just stopped. So this is what the life of a writer in the inner city is like.

Now, back to procrastinating.

Friday, April 14, 2006

The Next Chapter

It's been a while since I've blogged while drunk, and considering tonight's consumption of vodka with lemonade, vodka with Red Bull, and vodka with vodka, I think it's time I did it again.

Drinking a multi-vegetable, multi-fruit juice in a concerted attempt to sober up so I can sleep, it's time to reflect on the evening that was my going-away party.

First up, the exploration of the meaning behind my gifts.

Exhibit One is, to be on the safe side, currently un-nameable due to marketing restrictions, but I can say with all certainty that it is a nightmare personified in fabric. The last major poker machine game I worked on, the one that made me go through many hours of unpaid overtime (one of the joys of being on a salary), has been immortalised in the form of a matching blue-and-yellow cap and t-shirt. My plan is to wait for a full moon; pick a nice, dark, hilltop and burn them.

Exhibit Two is a copy of Robert G. Barrett's Leaving Bondi, with a 'doctored' cover.



Highlights of the evening include:

  • Buying dinner and two drinks. The rest was all a gift, although my liver may not agree.
  • Watching my boss try to sell a determined couple on the idea of a baby.
  • Having someone laugh up a puddle of Irish Car Bomb (a cocktail involving a depth charge in Guinness), onto my new book.
  • Listening to all the drunken truths that came out. It's amazing what people will tell you once you are leaving.
  • Being told that I'll be missed, by a number of people. Makes for a bittersweet end to it all.
  • Hearing someone referred to as 'Mr. Blindo.'
  • Coming home to a box full of yummy, all natural lollies.
  • Having the evening end without falling asleep in the garden. It appears I have grown up after all.
Goodnight to IGT, and good luck.

It's been great working with all of you.

And once the family obligations of Easter are over, the next chapter truly begins.

Yes!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Murphy's Law Of The Flu

The dreaded Lurgy has flown from office to office and decided to get to know me better before it moves on.

Lurgy chose a brilliant time to visit: my last week at the current job. Nothing quite like the ridicule one receives when 'chucking a sickie' in the last week. It's been laughing faces and pointing fingers all morning. Being the mature and rational adult I am, my entirely appropriate response was communicated to the perpetrators with the use of my middle finger.

Aside from the inconvenience of Lurgy's visit, the feeling I have at work this week is a surreal one. Five years in the same job and it all ends this Thursday. When you spend eight hours a day with a group of people, you can't help but form a close bond with them, even if this is due to a common enemy known as 'Work'.

Luckily, that close bond will now be broken. My underwear will be cleaner for it.

Bye, bye, guys.

Hello, world!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Fun And Games Continue

The writing is going slow at the moment, probably because I'm not actually writing. Aside from the hours being sucked up by my new toy, I'm trying to get to know my main character better.

Reading Jeff Lindsay's DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER and watching WONDERFALLS (as well as processing feedback from Steven & Stephen), has made me get back to the basics of my main character. I'm trying to nail down who he really is in a few sentences, and also fleshing out about five pages of notes.

Dexter is all about a strong first-person voice, with plenty of internal monologue (perhaps a little too much). As Stephen told me, this is something that seems to be missing in my writing so far. I don't want to add the amount of reflection that Dexter has, but as it stands now, my novel makes Danny come across as somewhat distant. It's the other characters that shine instead.

And I'm going to have plenty of time to really nail the whole thing, once I leave my current job.

Yes, I gave notice a couple of weeks ago, so I'll be running away from the exciting world of poker maching programming come Easter. I have a few months' savings to keep me writing full time, as well as the support of a top-notch lass in the form of Mary.

I have a four-to-six tier plan, with numerous offside-contingencies, fail-safe backup systems, as well as other hyphenated-strategic-dollops-of-bullshit.

With one of these tiers, if all goes well, my entry to the Debut Dagger awards will get me a nomination, which will prompt my credit cards to battle it out over who's going to pay for my trip to London. At this point I plan to have a completed novel in my pocket (I'll make sure to wear very baggy pants), and a lucrative publishing deal will spring into my lap, even while I suffer from jet lag.

Next rung down the ladder of tiers will be the St. Martin's Best PI Novel competition, assuming they even go ahead with it this year.

And then?

If I can scrounge together enough moxy to get hold of a driver's license, I suppose I'll become a pizza delivery driver. More likely, I'll re-enter the world of Poker Machine Programming, hopefully with a megabuck-size increase in remuneration.

Failing all of this, I will become an Xbox.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Please Forgive Me

Blogging hasn't been on my mind over the last week. Lots of exciting personal stuff going on. Some of which includes regressing into the me that was me from fifteen years ago. Thanks to the wonders of interest-free purchasing plans, I am now the proud owner of an uber-geeky toy known as the Xbox 360.

How does this fit in with crime writing?

Funny you ask, because I downloaded a demo of a game called CONDEMNED: CRIMINAL ORIGINS. In it you play the role of an FBI agent that--apart from having the job of beating up everyone into a bloody pulp--is in the possession of 'forensic investigation tools'. One of them is a UV light, and the other is some kind of 'laser' device. Your agent gets to use these tools on gruesome crime scenes where people have been murdered over a game of chess. You run the 'tool' over 'evidence' and that gets 'sent back' to 'headquarters'.

Or something like that. Anyway, it's got something to do with crime.

But the real reason I haven't been blogging is because of this:



I'm hooked. THE ELDER SCROLLS IV: OBLIVION is one of the most amazing computer games ever made. It's as geeky as you can get: a single player RPG (Role Playing Game). Yes, lots of lonely nights of sweaty hands and blurry vision, with not a single second of social interaction.

So I'm lost in this world. I'm coming home after work and playing it, resting, then playing again.

Hopefully I'll come back soon. And blog about that exciting personal stuff that's going on.

Until then, Mary, please forgive me. All is not lost.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Stairway To Heaven

I've been working on a story called Meditation Cell for a few months now, on and off. I don't know why, but this one seems to be a really hard slog, so much so that I was thinking of trashing it.

But no, I'm not a quitter! They'll never catch me alive! I swear the chicken wasn't mine!

In other words, I've pared the story down and re-tooled it for Flashing In The Gutters. Go have a read of Stairway To Heaven and see what you think.

Yes, you. The one reading this. The one I have complete control over.

The one that is now reading this sentence.

See?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Mystery Around The Corner



What are those little white things? Who drank the Coke?

Oh, my God! Who left the baby there?

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Great Re-Plotting

The last few days have seen me outlining my novel, one sentence for each scene. I threw it all into a spreadsheet with chapter numbers, page numbers and a timeline, all in separate columns.

I've always heard of the screenwriter's technique of using index cards to work out a plot, so I decided to do the same. Thanks to Microsoft Word's Mail Merge feature, I took the data in my spreadsheet, formatted it to fit onto business cards and printed them.

Witness my creation:



I should have vacuumed before I put the cards down: there's cat hair everywhere. But even with this seemingly catastrophic encumbrance, I find it easier to shift the cards around on the carpet than to do it in the computer.

So far I've pulled out one of the major subplots, as well as a minor one, and I can already see that the story will be stronger for it. I'll have to add in a few scenes to smooth things, but one of the biggest problems so far is that the pace is too fast. Removing a couple of unneccessary locations and characters should help me flesh out what I already have and slow the pace down at points.

And if I don't like it, I'll just deal the deck out again.

Will I ever finish this damn novel? Tune in every day or so at random intervals to find out!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Great MacBride And Terrenoire, Batman!



Not one, but two fine bloggers of ill repute (in other words, on my blog links) have been announced as finalists for Best First Novel by the International Thriller Writers.

One of these is sitting on my bookshelf, calling desperately to me to be read, and the other is either somewhere over the Atlantic or tucked away in a container in Sydney Harbour.

A big round of congratumalations to Stuart MacBride and David Terrenoire.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Dirty Old Book



That's what I'm reading right now. No, not something of questionable taste with pages stuck together, just something old and yellowing. It's got that musty smell and it's a hardback, not something that's common in new novels in our sunburnt country.

The book looks sunburnt, too. Take off the tacky cover with the author photo of Peter Corris sporting equally tacky shades and you have a plain, brown cover. You also have Corris' first book, The Dying Trade.

I've read a couple of much later Cliff Hardy novels, but this is the first in the series that now totals twenty-six, with the latest book only out a couple of months ago.

It's easy to see that like many PI authors, Corris was heavily influenced by Chandler and the like, but it's filtered through Corris' own Australian eyes. A little heavy on the description for my taste, and maybe that's a side effect of it having been written exactly twenty-six years ago. Yes, Corris has written one book a year in the Cliff Hardy series, not to mention Browning, PI and some non-fiction work.

When I started writing my novel, I became obsessed with reading first books of PI series, and this was one that I had a lot of trouble tracking down. Eventually found it online, through a local bookseller of second hand and collector's editions. Fifty pages in, and I'm hooked. Corris always knew what he was doing.

Excuse me, I have to get back to being musty. It gets me all excitable.

Hmm. I feel a strong urge to wash my hands right about now.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Fixing Problems

And now it's time for the monthly Thinking About The Novel Out Loud. Move along, nothing to see here if it ain't your bag. This one's gonna be long.

Steven's been kind enough to look at a couple more chapters, and thankfully I made sure my writing was more polished this time, so he only scratched out a few redundant words.

He's a cluey man and quickly spotted all the logical flaws. Made me realise I simply don't know enough about what I'm doing. But that's how it goes. The first draft is shit (and the second in my case) and you've gotta trawl through the shit to find the nuggets. Of gold. Not poo.

Timed nicely with Steven's crit, a friend grilled me over dinner last night (there's a metaphor for ya). Who is this Danny Hawaii guy? What motivates him? My friend rambled on, enjoying the sound of his own voice, talking about internal conflicts in characters and the like, and it got me thinking.

Who is Danny Hawaii?

There are a few pages of notes filled with snippets that I added along the way, stretching back to the first days, when the novel was more of a Blues Brothers/Demolition Man/Magnum/Crododile Dundee crossover. The background tidbits on Danny are a little contradictory, and looking through my novel, it shows.

I had this idea that Danny hates his name because his father gave it to him, and wants to become a PI to spite his now-dead father in some overly-complex way. At various points Danny reflects on this, but it doesn't really relate to the story. It's tacked on. Call it my equivalent of the unnecessary Vietnam flashback.

The whole father angle was something I threw in when I first started writing because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. But it doesn't suit the character, or the story. The novel is not supposed to be the most serious thing in the world, so the character should be consistent with that. Danny is not someone who thinks things through, so the character arc can show him learning something of the realities of what he's doing.

So who is Danny Hawaii? He's young, lives rent-free in a property that his parents own (they're overseas and aren't really a part of Danny's life). He started a PI course because it was the cheapest on offer and he thought there'd be babes and guns. Once he found out he didn't have to finish the course to get the job, he dropped out. The internal conflict with Danny is between his poorly-researched idea of what a PI should be, and the dull reality of the actual work.

Danny likes his name, because he's the one that got it legally changed. Just the kind of thing a spoiled kid would do. And it sounds a little catchier than Davor Wozniak.

Because Danny's current background is tacked on, it should make it easier to fit in the changes. And because they're more consistent with what Danny actually does in the story, I think it will work better.

Speaking of work, I've got lots to do now.

Friday, March 10, 2006

69'er

Wrote this for Konrath's mini-comp:

They stagger back to the cabin, stomachs filled with wine, decide to get a little silly. He’s on the bottom, tongue poking out. She’s on top, mouth open wide. They wriggle and twist, moaning, rolling around on the springs. The bed creaks. Looks like it’s about to tip. Tired now, they lie on their backs, arms behind their heads. The top and bottom bunks of a double bunk bed.

Word count: 69

Thursday, March 09, 2006

The Tipping Point

Just finished reading this excellent book by Malcolm Gladwell. For once, it's not fiction and it's not crime. It's a cross between marketing, psychology and chaos mathematics, although there's not an equation or mathematical concept in sight.

James Gleick's Chaos was an in-depth study of the mathematics and the history behind chaos, the simple idea that little things can make a big difference. The Tipping Point is a more easily understandable and practical exploration of the same idea.

The difference between the two books is similar to the difference between learning about computers and learning how to use them.

Gladwell deals with subjects like teenage suicide and smoking, crime in New York, Sesame Street and, of course, shoes. Somehow it manages to tie all of these together under the umbrella of epidemics. The idea that little things can make a big difference is gently hammered home by each case study.

But this is no dry book at all. It's very well written and the words glide off the page. By the end of it you can't help thinking about everyone and everything around you in a slightly different light.

Which person is a Maven? Or a Salesman, or a Connector?

What's the context, what's the stickiness factor?

What am I talking about?

Go and read the book. It's one of the few essential texts on popular science that doesn't read like a textbook at all.

Seriously. Read it. Be Tipped.

Yes, I Have Plenty To Do

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Back In The Gutter Again

It's been on my website for a while now, but the story needed a fresh whiff of not-so-fresh air.

Go and witness the super-cut-down version of Down In The Hole, a story written in honour of this here blog. I like it so much, I've replaced the original.

Courtesy of Tribe's fantabulous Flashing In The Gutters.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Obscure Songs From The 80s

Unlike most people my age, I hate the 80s. Too much reverb, tacky synths, cheesy robotic weirdness. Being a guitar and harmonica player, I prefer the old, old blues of the 30s through to the 50s. Music that is a soul wailing, not a plastic pop contrivance.

That being said, like any decade, the 80s had plenty of damn good songs. It's easy to look at the charts now and feel that the quality has dropped, but chances are that when we listen again in the decades to come, we'll find a treasure trove of standouts amongst the garbage.

Why am I writing about all this?

In the last few weeks I've had strong musically nostalgic urges, so I've used that energy to track down a couple of fistfuls of tunes that tickled my nether regions back then, when they were very easily tickled.

  1. Captain Sensible: Wot
    A one hit wonder, it's hard to believe this guy is actually in The Damned.
  2. Belle Stars: Iko, Iko
    This one's on the Rain Man soundtrack, but back then it was all about the hats.
  3. Monte Video and the Cassettes: Shoop Shoop Diddy Wop Cumma Cumma Wang Dang
    The 80s truly was the decade of the one hit wonder. This one made it to number one in New Zealand alone.
  4. Queen: Princes Of The Universe
    Even with the over-the-top guitar, Queen made me believe there could be only one.
  5. Oingo Boingo: Weird Science
    Proof that making your own robot woman is a recipe for Trouble.
  6. Thomas Dolby: She Blinded Me With Science
    See? You can go blind if you do it too often.
  7. Cyndi Lauper: What A Thrill
    The flipside of The Goonies single, this still rocks hard.
  8. The Style Council: (When You) Call Me
    I can't help getting all misty eyed when I hear this, even though I don't know why.
  9. Glenn Fry: The Heat Is On
    One of the most misheard lyrics in the universe, from when they knew how to do Axel F properly.
  10. Taco: Puttin' On The Ritz
    Excellent for tap dancing, I used to listen to this on my huge, portable FM headphones.

Anyone else have some particular favourites that aren't on the standard 80s compilations?

Thursday, March 02, 2006

What Is My Novel Trying To Be?

My third draft, once done, is the one that I'll be sending out for feedback. It's been in my mind and my laptop for far too long now, time to let it out into the real world. And there's an especially good reason for this.

There's comedy in it.

Yes, as well as trying to write a mystery, I try to write it so it's funny. Hopefully some of it works. And that's the difficulty with writing comedy. It has to work.

Sure there are guidelines to help you split people's sides: exaggeration, fish-out-of-water, understatement, contrasts, surprises. That's all well and good, but the only way to see if comedy is working is to test it. On people.

Soon, it will be time to do this. Yes, soon.

And now I must run off into the distance, cackling like a human vampire cross-bred with a hyena in the dead of night.

The cackling gets quieter with each step.

Quieter.

Until I fall.

And whimper.

Then I get back up and launch in to self-deprecating laughter.

Much like Chevy Chase used to.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Third Draft Begins

By the time I get to my tenth novel, the beginning of the third draft will probably be just another day at work. Until then, it feels like something momentous, an occasion worthy of marking.

The manuscript was hidden in the corner of my room for the better part of a month. I contented myself with trudging through a short story I've been working on for a while, as well as playing around with possible back cover blurbs.

Over the last week, I thought a lot about the next steps to take.

I strongly felt the need for external input and it was important that the input be from a voice of experience. I really wasn't sure where that voice would come from, but I was lucky enough to have the talented and multi-published author, Steven Torres of Precinct Puerto Rico fame, look over a few chapters of my work.

He tore it to shreds.

Okay, that's being dramatic. But I definitely had a sense of the need to bring my work up to the next level, and this was just the push I needed. It felt good to be looking at the earlier chapters again, reading them out loud to get the flow right, removing as many uses of the word 'I' as ... I can, tweaking, trimming, and killing.

Debut Dagger, here I come.

Friday, February 24, 2006

When The Writer Is Seen At Work, The Writing Doesn't Work

Gary Provost wrote this in a chapter on subtlety. It's excellent advise. Here's something else he wrote:

Consider first the spell cast by reading. You're alone as you read, yet you hear my voice. You don't know me. I don't know you. But we're both acting as if the other were a real individual composed of flesh and bones. The words that I'm addressing to you aren't being uttered now. They were recorded months ago, perhaps years ago. I might be thousands of miles away. I might be dead.

Gary succumbed to a heart attack on May 10th, 1995.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Who Wants To Buy A PI Novel?

Don't get the impression I'm asking you to buy mine, at least not till it's done. I'm just linking to a great post on the topic, over at the Weinman tropical bar, where spanking is as regular as excess consumption of muesli.

She writes:

Which is the bottom line. No hook, no money, and most people --especially women -- who are making their debuts as crime writers seem to want to find their hooks elsewhere, not within the PI subgenre.

Still, I'd say the PI novel isn't dead, just resting -- and there are up-and-comers interested in writing stories and even novels featuring that patented PI. But the subgenre is a hell of a lot deader than procedurals or "ordinary/extraordinary" thrillers or paranormal tales or chick lit mysteries or cozies.


What will this mean for Danny Hawaii, PI-in-training?

It means that as his author, I've been hired to find his hook. The hook.

Stay tuned.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

On The Killing Floor

Having just finished Lee Child's Killing Floor, I thought I'd throw up a few reactions to it. Not a review, just some things I noticed.

Jack Reacher is a smart guy. He's so smart that everyone around him--even those who have twenty years experience in police work--defer to his opinion. He's great at problem solving, but as the novel wears on, the logic he uses is increasingly suspect.

Jack Reacher is an amazing driver. In the one novel, he skirted, accelerated, nosed, lurched, swung, blasted, slowed, spun the wheel, turned, pulled up, threaded, wafted, parked, reversed, rolled, jinked, wallowed and drove whatever car he could lay his hands on.

The first hundred pages had me smiling at the quality of the writing, the depth of the character, and the excitement of the action.

The last hundred pages had me smiling at the abundance of coincidence, the sheer proportion of the events, and the John Woo-like slo-mo sequences.

Even though I suddenly have a hankering for some Barry Eisler, will I read more Jack Reacher novels?

Definitely.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Proofreading & Perspective

Catching errors is part of my job as a programmer, and even more so of late, so it's not a surprise that I think of editing and proofreading in a similar way.

Reading on computers is still something that people have trouble with, even though most writers use a word processor. People still print documents out on paper, especially if it's a manual, or if they're trying to fix problems in the documents themselves.

I'm lucky enough to be a child of the computer age, not quite as Playstationed and Xboxed as those a decade after me, but still capable of reading on a computer screen. I've even been able to read entire novels that way, courtesy of my Pocket PC.

When it comes to proofreading though, I still trust real paper.

For one, it's easy to make quick notes in the margins, it gives me a feeling for how long my novel is, and most importantly, I catch errors I miss on the computer.

I've been trying to figure out why that is the case. Why can't I see mistakes on the screen while typing?

When I'm writing, there are certain parts of my brain doing the work, some of which are taken up by the simple mechanical process of typing. When I'm proofreading on paper, other parts take over. I'm not thinking about what to type and I can devote all of my attention to simply seeing what is there, right in front of me, as it is.

It's a change of perspective.

So I tried an experiment based on this idea. I exported one of my short stories to PDF so I could read it on screen, but couldn't modify it. I found myself catching errors that I had completely missed, just like I would on paper. I printed out one of the later drafts as a final check, but I'm of the opinion that there was no reason for me to move the document outside the computer at all.

I might try it on the novel next.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Taurus The Bull

My star sign, and even though I don't believe in horoscopes one eensy-weensy bit, the sign I most identify with.

Stubbornness, patience, practicality, creativity. The Bull, full of ... bull.

I got this tattoo done about five months ago, so it's nice and settled now, part of the landscape of the forest on my arms.

Instead of showing a plain old picture of my tattoo as it is, here's a picture of the image left behind on the bandage I wore while the tatt healed.


Geez, us crime writer types, always making unnecessary references to blood.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Senses

Work is doing its best to suck all of the creative juices out of me, but I've still scrabbled together some energy for Provost's wacky and zany exercises. Actually, they're not wacky. They're very sensible.

Here are my attempts at using all of the senses to describe a scene:

A coffee shop.

Johnny’s Coffee Stop was brown. Mud brown, chocolate brown, coffee brown. The signage on the window, even the text. Brown. When I stepped inside, the grinding of beans hit my ears and the sharp aroma of it knifed into my flaring nostrils. I ordered a caramel latte, sat in the splintering stool and waited. When the coffee came, I caressed the cup, letting the warmth seep into my shaking hands.

A fruit stand.

I ran my fingers over the darkening pineapples, the spikes almost scraping off my fingerprints. My blood dripped into the cart. I dragged my hand past the apples, the kiwifruit, the mangoes. The heady perfume of the fruits combined with my loss of blood and I swayed from side to side, staring at the fruit stand owner’s huge moustache. He yelled at me to keep my hands off. I licked my fingers. It was like licking chains.

A truck stop.

Compression breaks squealed and eighteen huge wheels ground to a halt, sending dust and dirt into Derek’s face. He coughed and sputtered, blew the dust out his nose. The driver oozed out of the truck, knelt down and touched the earth. His face was caked with dirt and sweat, but his eyes pierced into Derek. Derek thought, these donuts better be good. The doors opened. Derek could smell the icing, taste the dough, even though all he could see were rows and rows of white cardboard boxes.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Cliches

I'm reading Gary Provost's "Make Your Words Work" as a way of distancing myself from the manuscript, with the hopeful bonus of learning more about writing. The book is a pleasure to read and the exercises can be damned entertaining.

One exercise was to think of cliche replacements. Like these:

He could sell a fridge to an Eskimo.
He could sell leather boots to a vegan.
He could sell a flamethrower to a fireman.
He could sell a pentagram to a nun.

Sly as a fox.
Sly as a kid with brussel sprouts in his pockets.
Sly as a student with porn in a classroom.
Sly as Stallone.

Behind the eight ball.
Naked at a spelling bee.
Feet behind the head.
Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

Out from the frying pan into the fire.
After the queue come the forms.
In prison: out of the showers and into the toilets.
Out from under the bulldozer, into the morgue.

He left no stone unturned.
He left no email unread.
He checked inside every box of cereal.
He lifted every veil in the harem.

I'm sure y'all can do better.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Friday, February 10, 2006

100th Post: A Weekday In The Life

I threw this one together on the Mystery Circus, but seeing as it's my 100th post and all, it seems fitting to duplicate it here.

This one goes out to the three other people that didn't read it at the Circus.

8am: My alarm goes off. Wake up, go downstairs, feed cats, assemble cup of tea and bowl of muesli.
8:15am: Eat breakfast, wait for tea to brew, check email/Bloglines/MWF/Circus
8:20am: Drink tea, controlled dosage of caffeine enters system, fart around on the net some more. Almost awake now.
8:40am: Shit, shower, shave. Wakefulness achieved.
9:00am: Get on bicycle, ride to work.
9:20am: Arrive at work, net-ercise some more, figure out what work I have to do.
9:40am-12pm: Program them damn poker machines. This does not involve the use of a Poker Utility Belt.
12pm-1pm: Grab some lunch from downstairs, open laptop, write for an hour or so. Failing that, stare at outline of novel or short story until I give up. Yes, I outline my shorts.
1pm-5:30pm: Do more poker machine programming. Fit in some net fun along the way whenever I have to wait a few minutes for something to finish.
5:30pm: Ride home. Try not to get run over.
5:55pm: Tell the microwave to cook dinner, or call up a Thai restaurant to do the same, then eat.
6:30pm: Neighbours is on--I find absolutely anything else to do.
7pm-9pm: Muck around. Seriously.
9pm-10:30pm: Try that whole writing thing again, or read cool, hard-ass noirish shit, like Jim Thompson or one of the Peters (Corris, Temple, Doyle).
11pm-1am: Try to sleep.

Weekends that don't involve social obligations are similar, but work is replaced by shopping, there's no writing done at lunch, and time is usually found for a movie.

Far too much of this is done under the influence of sleep deprivation.

Reason? I don't sleep so good. :(

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Roll Up, Roll Up!

The circus has come to town! It's a forum, it's an ezine, it's yet another hub in the dark world of mystery.

It cleans, it strengthens, it lengthens. It removes vomit and other household stains.

It's a shoe polish, a floor wax, an anal loosener; it's a monkey's best meal, and it comes FREE, this month only, with every vacuum cleaner bag purchased at the store.

Roll up for the Mystery Circus now!



The Circus is a gripping tale that takes you into the dark and violent heart of obsession.
- Michael Connelly

Rickards contacted me about writing a blurb for him, but I decided to go the whole hog and make my own circus. Look for it, this Fall.
- Stephen King

The Mystery Circus is a tour de force! It's a chase story, an allegory, and a brilliant riff on language. It's the future of dark entertainment.
- James Ellroy

Jaysus fuck, that ringleader has the best coke in town.
- Ken Bruen

In today’s modern world, it stands as a testament to the human ego’s triumph over commercialism that being a clown still holds the ultimate cachet. And, as John Rickards pains himself to point out, the effects of social capital can be all the more staggering for his generation, one deep in self-contemplation.
- Zadie Smith

Fuck that coke was good.
- James Frey

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Don't Adverb

In all the books on writing that I've studied, one tip crops up time and time again.

Don't use adverbs. (1)

Because I only have a year or so of real writing experience under my belt, I've taken this as gospel. But I didn't really understand why until I read a post over at Flogging The Quill.

The post is all about showing and telling, and this is the line that turned the light bulb on in my head:

I believe that the use of adverbs is merely a form of telling.

That did it for me. It's something that's related to compression as well. Make the dialogue, the action, even the description show the reader what is happening. That way you don't need to repeat what you've already said. And repetition tends to dilute the writing. The idea gets spread out and ends up thinner for it.

It's totally possible to write an entire novel without a single adverb, and I think that the writing ends up stronger, because the writer is forced to think of a different way to show, and showing leads to more immediate prose.

I searched for some quotes to back me up on this, but Chip Scanlan's already done it for me. And he's taken the time to look at the issue from both sides.

In fact, if I'd stumbled across the article before I wrote this, I might have just posted a link to it.

But then I wouldn't have said it my way.

  1. What's an adverb I hear you say? What, you already know? Sorry, I can't hear you.
    An adverb is an adjective that modifies a verb.
    Or ...
    An adverb is, most of the time, a word that ends in -ly.
    Slowly, quietly, righteously, glowingly, disgustingly.(2)
  2. My first footnote!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

To Be Read

On Saturday I went to a day long seminar called Demystifying Book Publishing which was a helluva lot of fun, and as far as I can tell, the best introduction to the publishing industry in Australia.

I plan to write about this in the next couple of days, but it will take a team of highly trained linguists to decipher the words in my notebook.

Until then, I give you my current TBR pile, in no particular order:

  • Lee Child: Killing Floor
  • Peter Corris: The Dying Trade
  • Mark Billingham: Lazybones
  • Peter Doyle: The Devil's Jump
  • Robert Gott: A Thing Of Blood
  • Jake Arnott: The Long Firm
  • Steve Martin: Picasso at the Lapin Agile and Other Plays
  • Jim Thompson: The Killer Inside Me
  • Michael Robotham: The Suspect
  • Arnaldur Indridason: Jar City
  • Marele Day: The Life And Crimes Of Harry Lavender
  • Stuart Kaminsky: Behind The Mystery
  • Pulp: Toni Johnson-Woods
  • The Classic Era Of Crime Fiction: Peter Haining
  • Richard Aleas: Little Girl Lost
  • Gary Provost: Making Your Words Work
  • Dwight Swain: Techniques of the Selling Writer
  • Sybil Steinberg: Writers And Their Craft--Volume II
  • Michael Michalko: Cracking Creativity
  • Shunryu Suzuki: Branching Streams Flow In The Darkness
All this doesn't count the thirty or so titles I keep on my Amazon Wishlist, or the twenty more I have hidden away in a spreadsheet under the same title as this post.

Should I just give up and kill myself now? Or will Mary do it for me the next time she sees me buy another book?

Friday, February 03, 2006

Thicker Skin

After reading the commentary over at Sarah's blog in regards to Tess Gerritsen and her Edgar award nomination, I was chuffed to read Tess's own take on the subject of criticism. It was a great affirmation for me, because I have noticed a strange personal development over the last year or so.

My skin's got thinner.

I honestly used to not give too much of a shit about what people thought of me. Which is not to say I've been a horrible person, it's just that my particular take on life is not one that falls into general acceptance by the masses. Even the weirdos worry about me.

First I got all thoughtful and introspective about my place in the mystery universe, then an unknown person commented on one of my stories. My initial reaction was that the story was better than that, but then I shifted into thinking about how to improve it.

Do I get rid of this character and spend more time on this one? How can I change the dialogue so that it rings a little less cliched?

What it comes down to is this: as writers, we have to be our own first line of criticism. To write well, we must constantly analyse and tear apart our work, with the goal of putting it back together in a better shape. This becomes a habit, and it's very easy for that habit to spill over into who we are as a person. We tend to become more critical in general, and this is easily extended to self criticism.

On top of that, since I started writing seriously, I've noticed my speech patterns change. Because of this constant revision, I find myself thinking about three possible sentences every time I speak. The result of this confusion is: "Sen ... tence a doesn't any that sense make." Happens to me all the time.

So since I decided to become a writer I have turned into an uncertain, self-conscious, gibbering mess of a man.

And I love it.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Murder Around The Corner



I'm still completely absorbed in a recent bookish acquisition, City Of Shadows.

The photo is of a previously law-abiding man, George Whitehall. On a Thursday afternoon in 1922, he went to Newtown Police Station and announced, "I've done something I should not have done," and handed in a key to his place in Pleasant Street, Erskineville.

Around the corner from where I am right now.

He'd lived there for 15 years, but that afternoon, he murdered his daughter with an axe, after having an argument with her and her mother. Whitehall had no recollection of what happened until he found himself with the axe in his hand and his daughter on the ground.

The photo was taken behind Newtown Police Station days before George Whitehall was hanged.

I feel all skin-crawly and goose-pimply after reading this. To think that it happened 84 years ago, just around the corner, and this man is staring back at me through history.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Repetition, Repetition, Variation

Maybe it's because I make my living as a programmer, or maybe it's just the obsessive-compulsive in all of us, but repetition in writing fascinates me.

It crops up in so many ways. The first word of a paragraph, the first word of a sentence, repeating words throughout the same sentence. Most of the time, you want these repetitions to be absent--they tend to take the reader out of the story. As the Taoists say, "[an] author leaves no trace of himself in his work."

Repetition can have the same unwanted effect on a larger scale. I noticed this while working on my second draft. The word 'threatened' popped up only a total of three times, but I still remembered it.

It's not all bad: repetition can be used for good. It can give rhythm to a sentence, or add a poetic spin to your prose. It's easy to overdo, so be careful he says, as he touches his nose.

Variation.

I just threw that word in because I was sick of 'repetition'.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Back It Up

Usually a post like this would start off with a horror story. You know the kind: guy spends half his life writing the Great Novel Of The Universe on an ancient stone laptop, only to forget to hit 'save', then offers himself up for ritual sacrifice.

No horror stories here, though. And that's the point.

Back up your work before it all goes to hell in a handbasket.

Ways to do it:

  • USB flash disk: you don't need a big one because novels don't take up much space. Even a 32MB disk bought from your local convenience store will do. They're cheap, and any computer bought in the last few years should have no trouble using them.
  • Blank CDs / DVDs: you really should be finding ways to backup your entire system, so if your hard drive crashes you can get up and running within minutes, not days. Stick your writing on these too. Norton Ghost is something worth looking into in terms of system backup if you use Windows.
  • Email: get a gmail account. Send your novel to your other email address. If you're worried about privacy, zip the files up and add a password. Yes, these things can be cracked, but not without a considerable effort.
  • Other computers: if you use more than one computer, carry that flash disk around and leave copies everywhere. You do have a flash disk, don't you?
  • External hard disk: It's easy to buy a cheap external case that connects through USB or Firewire. Stick a hard drive in there that's the same size as the one you have, or find some backup software that compresses your work. Lacie and Maxtor have a range of these to suit, but I prefer the cheap ones from the local computer store.
I took care of the last option today. A friend of mine sold me his external case for twenty bucks and I happened to have a spare hard drive lying around to fill it with. It's the same size as the hard drive in my laptop, and I use a very simple program called SuperDuper! (Mac only) to back it up. It makes an exact duplicate of my laptop's data on the external hard drive, and I can even boot from it if the hard disk in my laptop fails.

These are all solutions designed to prevent loss of your work. The work you sweated blood, tears and other bodily fluids over.

But that won't help if you don't back it up. Do it every day, or when you hit a milestone. At the very least, once a week. Back up dated versions of all the files in your writing folder every so often, and keep them. That way if something has stuffed up a couple of weeks ago, you still have a way of resurrecting the work done before.

Sing it with me, children:

BACK IT UP.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

City Of Shadows Exhibition Write-up

Four days off work has been good for me. It started off with a peaceful Australia Day and it's ending in much the same way. The cats are out on the balcony and I'm wasting electricity by having the windows open while the air-conditioning is on.

I dragged my favourite Demon Goddess along to the City Of Shadows exhibition running at the Justice and Police Museum at Circular Quay. Thanks to the magical powers of a new digital camera in our family, I bring to you a decidedly different write-up of our day out.

City Of Shadows

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Australia Day

Today is Australia Day, the day where everyone in this sunburnt (ie covered in skin cancer) country has a day off work to get together and have a barbie. Like Christmas, this is all about mass consumption of food and drink, most often snags and beer.

TRANSLATION: Australia Day = barbeque = sausages on bread with tomato sauce + beer

Or failing that, take the family out to Darling Harbour or Circular Quay and watch the Jamaican guy with the big smile and the steel drums do battle with the silver-painted Statue Of Liberty impersonator.

For me, it's all about sleeping in. An hour or so extra can make all the difference. Then, because a public holiday is a great excuse to do things you don't have time for during a work day, I think I'll go shopping. Buy some things I don't really need.

Maybe ...

  • a gold plated blank DVD
  • shaggy red drink coasters with built-in hot plates
  • hybrid fuel cell/electric Converse high top sneakers
  • a bicycle helmet with pictures of other bicycle helmets
  • an imitation fur covered cordless laser mouse with real feet
  • a granite hacky sack
  • sandpaper tissues (I'm thinking wet & dry No. 45)
I'll shut up now.

Happy Australia Day!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Time for the Down In The Hole town crier's news update:

  • There's a new CrimeSpot in town, with your's truly added to the fantasmagoric smorgasbord of fellow crime bloggers. It's a great way to keep up to date with your faves, and to find new ones as well.
  • A new short story, Dollars And Sense, has been added to my fiction pages. But you've probably already read it.
  • All my stories are now available in PDF format for your downloading and printing pleasure.
  • You may have noticed changes to the way comments are handled: now you don't have to load another page to read them, they just appear out of nowhere when you click.

It's all FREE, so grab it now, for an unlimited time only!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Poodle Girl In The Gutter

Some of you may have read my story POODLE GIRL before, but Tribe has given it a new lease of life by publishing it on his new flash fiction website, Flashing In The Gutters.

Click away below to read the new incarnation.

POODLE GIRL

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Heist Is Over

Inkslinger's Amored Car & Kid's Clothing story contest is officially over.

The votes have been totalled and here are the results:

1st place: GUARD YOUR TREASURE - written by Clair Lamb
2nd: THE STAIN - written by James Lincoln Warren
3rd: KID GLOVES - written by Bryon Quertermous

You can read all about it here.

I didn't place, but my story, Dollars & Sense, did get a mention, as well as a couple of first place votes.

Thanks to everyone that took the time to read and vote.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Owner Reunited With Car

Following my last post, a dollop of serendipity came my way. Here's the kind of crime story that really tickles me:


Owner Reunited With Car


See? There's like this old guy in it, and he's like, smiling.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Compulsions & Conformity

WARNING: Writery Wanking Dead Ahead. Wrong Way, Go Back

I feel compelled to completely rewrite my novel. Just ditch the whole thing and start again.

Word around town is that every novel for every writer creates the same kind of soul sucking doubt. In my case, while I do have doubts about the novel itself, my doubts lie more in the direction I'm heading.

What's changing that direction?

There's a subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle undercurrent that runs through most of the blogs I read. Hardboiled, hardass noir is good; cozies are bad. And I can completely see the reason for this. Crime affects people, and it doesn't do this in cute and funny ways. It's a wrenching. To have your property stolen, to lose someone close to you, to lose one of your own limbs is not a fluff-filled experience.

It hurts.

As my novel stands, I have the feeling that it comes across as something slightly more than fluff.

Danny Hawaii is the type of guy you'd want to get together with at a pub, shoot some pool, tell some jokes. He's finding his way through the world of the PI by trial and error, and his general viewpoint is decidedly not serious. There are moments of tension, but there's plenty of fart-arsing around in between.

My vision for the novel, and probably one of the running themes in all of my writing, is to find a healthy balance between comedy and tension. Start off silly, and as things fall apart, get serious.

But the more crime fiction and non-fiction I read, the more I feel like what I'm doing is pissing up the wrong tree. I feel a pressure to write more about the alcohol and drug-fuelled, introspective hard ass, than a young and stupid PI with an off-centre view of the world.

When it comes down to it though, I'm not a hardened, jaded kind of guy. I'm a rampant optimist that finds the quirky side of human nature the most interesting. Crime fiction for me is probably more of a vehicle to explore these kinds of characters.

Now I come to the end of this self-directed rant and find myself back where I started. I'll just finish what I'm doing and see where I go next. In the end, I don't think I could sustain an output of dark, soul crushing art.

I'm just here for the fun of it. Beats programming poker machines, that's for sure.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Vote For Me

About a month ago, Paul Guyot of Inkslinger fame, issued a storytelling challenge to the blogging world: write a short story that included at least a mention of both an armored car and kids clothing. I prefer armoured, but that didn't stop me entering the contest.

There's eleven stories, one of which is mine, but I won't tell you which. If I win this thing, it's going to be legit. So rush over, read all the stories, and send your votes in. You have till the 24th of Jan.

Here are the relevant links:

The Background

The Contest

EDIT: Some of you reported problems with accessing the site. Try again, it's all hunky-dory now.

Monday, January 16, 2006

How To Make A Bestseller

It's all in the title. Jamie Ford clued me in on this strange tool for analysing the probability of a novel being a bestseller, based entirely on its title.

Lulu Titlescorer.

My result?

The title Loving The Law has a 44.2% chance of being a bestselling title!

What's great about this is that it matches another book out there that's reportedly doing quite well.

The title A Million Little Pieces has a 44.2% chance of being a bestselling title!

Now all I have to do is figure out a way to pass it off as non-fiction. Which should be easy, seeing as it's written in first person already.

Search, replace. Danny = Daniel, Hawaii = Hatadi.

Quarter Pounder P.I.

As you may or may not know, I've been doing a P.I. course, more correctly known as Certificate III in Investigative Services.

At least, I was doing it. I dropped out after only a couple of months, but I now have some novel-relevant education behind me, as well as an academic record. For some strange reason, this makes me feel like I'm sixteen.

As a way of making it real, here is the transcript of my results:

Practical law for investigators: Distinction
Planning an investigation: Pass
Prepare and give evidence in court: Credit
Law for an investigation practice: Pass

It's a two semester course, but I only ever planned on completing the first semester. I really don't need to know about occupational health and safety issues to write a novel.

I hope.

Speaking of hope, I have a vague plan to finish the course, just so I can say I saw it through. But for now, I'm only about a quarter of the way, a Quarter Pounder P.I.

Friday, January 13, 2006

It's Pimpin' Time!

Chances are you've already read this about five times today. But here goes:

Bryon Quertermous and Dave White have banged their heads together to produce the bastard son of Plots With Guns, and it's called:

DEMOLITION



(image stolen from David Terrenoire)

They've kicked it off with a four story issue from previous Plots With Guns talent. Think of it as the battleground where literary fiction and pulp fiction fight to the death.

I think pulp will have the advantage, because it's already beaten to a ...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Too Much Blogging?

Oh, man. This is bad.

But first:

I'm happy to say I've made it past the half way mark of the second draft. It's unclear whether it's still half way or not, but the point is that I got to the section where things are picking up. Danny Hawaii's being more active, doing things rather than letting them happen. The pace picks up and that means more fun. Cause that's what I'm really about. Fun.

Also, the second half of the novel was written after I'd learnt a whole lot about writing and it shows. So I'm glad I'm through that. The rest of the novel should be much more of a joy to work with.

Now back to the bad. It's short, but worrying.

I was typing the word 'blob'. That was my plan. It didn't come out as I expected, though.

Can you guess what I typed instead?

What's In A Title?

A title has to grab you from the get-go. If you're walking past a book store and you've just broken up with your lover who's dying from cancer because they have a fetish for sex with uranium exhaust pipes, the title has to make you turn your head and bump into someone walking the other way.

I've been using LOVING THE LAW as a working title because it suits the story and is alliterative. But it's somewhat dull.

Lately I've been thinking about a new title, one that can be extended into a distinctive series title. Sue Grafton's alphabet novels and Janet Evanovich's number novels come to mind as good examples.

I thought of going the whole hog and naming the novel something like DANNY: VOLUME 1, and that got me onto the possibility of including the word DANNY in every title of the series. The story is something of a balance between comedy and tension, so I think this could work.

Or I could just write a children's mystery series.

Here's some titles I came up with, some of which would be more suitable for later novels in the series:

  1. NOBODY LOVES DANNY
  2. DANNY: THE P.I. THAT SMILES BACK
  3. DANNY HAWAII: P.I. IN TRAINING
  4. BETTER LIVING THROUGH DANNY
  5. GET SERIOUS. GET DANNY.
  6. DID SOMEBODY SAY DANNY?
  7. WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE DANNY?
  8. DANNY GOES STRAIGHT TO YOUR HEAD
  9. DANNY WITH A SILENT D
  10. DANNY DROPS ONE
If anyone has a fave, leave me a comment and I'll tally up the total of three votes I get.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Second Drafts

Second drafts. Could be from the air conditioning. Or maybe that was dinner.

No one tells you when you finish the first draft of your first novel how hard the second draft is going to be. I've read a couple of handfuls of books on writing and it's not something that's touched on in any kind of detail. I suppose that each writer has their own personal way of going about writing, their own process. Covering that in a text is like trying to explain the entire human mind in one chapter.

It's a slog, that second draft. I'm about half way through it, maybe less, judging by my notes.

After I finished the first draft I went at it with a big red pen, noting minor and major problems. As I read, I also kept a short list of the major structural elements I planned on changing when I plunged into the next part of the process.

That list keeps growing.

At first it was a page of numbered items. Then I added a few plot points at the bottom as notes. As I worked, I kept thinking of extra things that really do need to be done. Location changes, character changes, plot changes. Research.

Now I have three full pages of numbered issues to sort out.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel tired just thinking about it. About how much work I have to do.

That's a problem that's easy to solve, though. You put your blinkers on (not like a car, like a horse) and focus on the task at hand. Break it down into small points.

If you can knock off a couple of those in a day, you're well on your way. If you can edit a couple of chapters tonight, everything's gonna be alright.

That's enough singing. Back to work.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

A Million Words

If I ever think I'm not working hard enough, I want this here as a reminder of what can be achieved when it comes to writing.

Rough Edges (James Reasoner): The Wrap Up


Over on the writing front, I wrote 5524 pages of fiction, my all-time high. This translates into 14 books, and a little over 1.1 million words, the first time I've hit the old pulpster level of a million words a year.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The Great Linkage Experiment

That wacky and zany writer of alcoholic adventures, J. A. Konrath told the world to Get Off Your Ass And Do Something. In the last few days, I've taken the message to heart, especially the bit about internet presence.

Over the last year I was spreading my energies too thinly. I had a Danny Hawaii blog and a food photo experiment called Food What I Ate. Don't bother looking for them because they've both been deleted. Now I've cut down to one blog, and if people are going to read it, I need to get them here. This is what's happened so far in that regard:

  • I asked for a link exchange with Konrath himself. And he did it. He's a man of his word.
  • I also figured if Rickards links to me, why can't his American counterpart, Bryon? I mean, they're almost exactly the same, except one likes weasels and banana paste and the other likes rubber chickens with peanut butter. Bryon was up for it too.
  • Tribe went ahead and linked to me without my asking. So did Jennifer. Now there's a polite bloke and blokette.
  • I've been linking to an excellent website called the Australian Crime Fiction Database for a while now. The creator himself emailed me to thank me for linking, and he's returned the favour. So now I'm between the sheets with authors like Peter Corris and Gabrielle Lord (with Tara Moss in the corner, watching us).
Thanks to all of you for the linkage.

EDIT: Aldo, Gerald, and Tania have joined the hordes. Cheers, guys.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Where Next?

I've been reading the Cambridge Companion to Crime Fiction. It covers the history of the genre from its beginnings in the 18th century to the modern thriller, with every category in between. At least that's what I believe, because I'm still a wide-eyed lunatic when it comes to crime. It started me thinking about the different types of crime story and where crime was heading.

One side of crime fiction is detective and police fiction, where the good tries to catch the bad, even if the border between blurs. The other side is that of the criminal. In these stories, we learn to empathise with someone that we'd normally have nothing to do with. A serial killer, a stand-over man, a shylock, a robber, a rapist. You can break it down into sub-genres and sub-sub-genres, but to me this is the core of it. Two sides of the same crooked coin.

So how do you write a new type of crime fiction? What else is there?

My brain was powered by lack of sleep and an excess of caffeine in the form of black liquid with bubbles. It worked away at the connections between police, detectives, criminals, spies, sleuths and the like.

And I came up with an idea.

Instead of trying to solve a crime or commit it, I could have a character that just wanted to be part of it. A crime chaser.

A man with a lack of social skills. An observer in life: too gutless to steal or kill; just as unlikely to become a hero. He wants to find a way to live, to feel the rush of something, anything, through his veins. Isn't that why we read crime?

But what kind of person would chase crime, without being a criminal or a hunter of criminals? A taxi driver or a journalist maybe, but I think I prefer the idea of someone who doesn't chase crime in a professional sense. Something more along the lines of an obsession.

Not sure if there's anything concrete here, but I'll see where the idea takes me.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Workspace

Over at Lee Goldberg's blog, there's a post on where we write. It's spreading like smooth peanut butter across the writing blogosphere, so being the tribal animal I am, here's my contribution:



Do I need two computers to write? No. One is for games and music, hence those pretty purple cones. Yes, I'm having breakfast, and yes, Mr. Potato Head is always watching over me, making sure I'm keeping it clean and drug-free for the kiddies.

My room's somewhat cramped, so a panaromic view isn't possible, which means my bookshelf and rack of guitars need special attention. The piles of paper on top of books combine to make up the first draft of my novel.



And for the final piece we have Workspace: The Noir Years (see if you can spot the rubber chicken).

Tuesday, January 03, 2006