Stairway To Heaven
I've been working on a story called Meditation Cell for a few months now, on and off. I don't know why, but this one seems to be a really hard slog, so much so that I was thinking of trashing it.
But no, I'm not a quitter! They'll never catch me alive! I swear the chicken wasn't mine!
In other words, I've pared the story down and re-tooled it for Flashing In The Gutters. Go have a read of Stairway To Heaven and see what you think.
Yes, you. The one reading this. The one I have complete control over.
The one that is now reading this sentence.
See?
14 comments:
So, if you have complete control over me, then I wasn't lying when I told the officer I wasn't responsible for my actions...Can you come back me up then?
Okay, so it doesn't work then. Hey, I've just started my Jedi training, lady.
And you're clearly confused, because you called me lady.
Nicely done.
As an aside, my notes to you about pacing? This is what I was talking about. It's a short piece but you take your time getting there. Very well done.
Thanks for reading it, Stephen. I was a little worried about that piece--I don't think it had that twist at the end that most flash fiction does, but I tried to do something different this time and it looks like it may have worked.
I'm still working on the intro, deleting your comments as I've dealt with them. I've got three left now, so should have it polished soon.
Unless I keep adding more of my own comments.
I agree with Stephen on the pacing. It's beautifully done and the dialogue is wonderful.
Thanks so much, M. G.
Did anyone notice the thread that ties all my Flashing In The Gutters pieces together?
Would it be bad of us to say no? I mean, come on, you're asking for analysis here, context. Bear in mind that I walk into walls regularly and without the aid of alcohol.
One day, you shall all know the truth. Until then, walk into walls as you please.
Or some shit or other.
I am so looking forward to telling my editors I don't have to make my deadline because Daniel is in control! Hahahaha! I'm going to go burn something down now and blame it on you too!
Wonder if there's a liquor store round here I could rob?
Daniel made me do it!
Yes, Stuart, it was I all along. Controlling your every move, using your humorous sarcasm to ridicule myself so that I could then prove to you who really is in control.
Now, go and BURN the LIQUOR STORE. It should be easy. Liquor burns.
Although if it's a nice drop like Glenlivet, it should go down smoothly.
just stumbled across your blog - i love crime novels - and so do many of my other blog friends - wait till i tell them youre here! great blog!
I finally figured out the thread that runs through all your flash fiction.
They're all by Daniel Hatadi!
(Don't throw kangaroo poo now, that's not nice.)
Close only in that the thread has something to do with an animal.
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