Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Uncle Dan



Let me try that again: Uncle Dan.

That's what you can call me from now on. All because this little fella that goes by the last name of Ortado was born to my sister Laura and her husband Michael at 5.40pm on Monday 18 December, 2006.

I suppose this means I'll have to make sure I can get him good, clean drugs, weapons that are untraceable, and computers that are virus free.

That's what uncles do, right?

Right?

15 comments:

pattinase (abbott) said...

Congratulations. We have a new grandson here too. Changes your perspective pretty quickly.

Anonymous said...

"I'll have to make sure I can get him good, clean drugs, weapons that are untraceable, and computers that are virus free.
That's what uncles do, right?"

That's what my uncles always did. Well, except for the computers.
Congratulations to your family.

Anonymous said...

Yes, that is what uncles do. My brother doesn't know this, yet. He'll figure it out in about 4 years.

Christa M. Miller said...

Congratulations Daniel! Have a great time with the little guy. I'd start with fishing though. That way his parents will trust you, and won't ask what you're doing, by the time you get to the good stuff.

angie said...

Congrats, unca Dan!

You can get started by reading some nice noir to him. Babies really dig that!

Daniel Hatadi said...

Patti, this is my first outing as an uncle, and my parents have had their grandparental cherry popped too. On top of that, my last surviving grandparent has earned the prefix 'great'. And yes, totally get what you mean about perspective. The change is near instantaneous.

Patrick, the computer is an important tool for all modern criminals. I'm just trying to keep up with the times.

Stephen, four years? Is that a long range plan of yours?

Christa, good tip about the fishing, but I think my sister would be more thrown by that than the other things.

Angie, that's a damned fine idea. Gotta get the little tike used to the rhythms of the language early.

Sandra Ruttan said...

Awesome news! Now, I have a question. What's the significance of the name, or is it a common Australian name? I'm never heard it before.

And what will you call him for short? Surely not Ort...

Daniel Hatadi said...

Thanks, Sandra.

Ortado is the last name of the husband, and my sister took the name. It's an Italian name. Weird how similar it is to Hatadi when spoken out loud. They haven't decided on a name for the baby yet.

Bryon Quertermous said...

Congrats. The first thing you might want to do is wipe the kid off though. He looks like he was rolled in flour ala fried chicken.

anne frasier said...

aw, poor little guy. he's reached the end of a long, tough, dark trip.



congratulations, uncle dan!

Anonymous said...

Anne,

The long, tough, dark trip is just beginning.

As for an uncle's responsibilities, I think you've listed them all except for the hookers.

Daniel Hatadi said...

Thanks muchly, guys!

Hookers. Always forgetting the hookers.

Anonymous said...

Never forget the hookers. It's bad form.

Now what does it say when, as I'm typing this, my wife pokes her head into my office and says, "Who you causing trouble for, this time?"

Women. No faith at all.

Anonymous said...

I was just pointed here by Sandra for tips on Uncle-ing and I see that picture and the black eyes and I think, "argh, the antichrist!"

Reading on I realise that may have been a bit premature. This child isn't evil, it's simply going to descend into evil on a road paved with its Uncle's good intentions.

But in the absence of any better guide to Uncle-ing, I have already started taking notes.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. The most important thing you can do is to keenly observe his schoolyard environment on occasion and tell him which kid should get knocked around and which kid's ok. I'm being completely serious. If done properly, the youngster will have zero problems up until he's old enough for the drugs and hookers.